A little anxiety and my thoughts

 I was feeling ok the previous days. Don't know what happened today that makes me feel the way I do.  A feeling of anxiety had conquered me.  I have come to understand that pumping music into my ears helps me when I feel bad. 

With me losing my previous relationship, I think I need someone to have close to me. Maybe that's why I felt like spending time with Holly and was down when she didn't send for us to meet. Having been close to a person for as long as I had makes you want to have someone close to you to spend your time with, to hug, to have by your side and with whom you can share a moment. Perhaps that is why I took such a hit the other day when she didn't send a message back.

About a week ago, I remembered what a teacher of mine had told me once: "You have to be ready. Act like a soldier and go to battle with your weapons. Your weapons are all the mathematical tools we have learned throughout the year. When you are giving your exams, you should be neither cold nor warm towards the assessment. Neither be afraid of the topics, nor be arrogant enough to think "I got this, easy". You should act like a cold-blooded assassin. 

As we move in this life alone, good advice towards anyone would be to be cold-blooded. Protect yourself from getting hurt, don't put your happiness in other people, be happy and grateful for what you have. But I think such an approach does not work for many people, especially those, amongst those I think I am as well, that are sociable and need people in their lives in forms of friends and partners, so as to extend themselves and share the burden of Being with others. 

But such friends or partners aren't really easy to find. 

With all new beginnings comes a period of adjustments. 

You will get through this. 

Eventually, you will win.